A friend of mine recently said ” It doesn’t matter what anyone else wants, what do YOU want to do?” I thought back to what my goals were before Plannus Interruptus (common ailment for plans, no doctor needed). Remember nearly five years ago when I bought an RV and planned on paying off debt and…
Some music to watch for storms by: Riders on the Storm Or if you like something a bit more upbeat: Skywatcher The good news is that no one in my family will be impacted by much more than some rain and a bit more heft to the breeze. I have one friend on the…
The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living A decade. One hundred and twenty months. Three thousand six hundred and fifty days. And so on. The pain of missing has diminished, except on the days when it has not. Those days have at least become less and less frequent. Philosopher and Poet David Whyte says of…
Today started pretty normally, woke up at 0300 and then fell back asleep and slept past my alarm. I wasn’t late to work though, since work is ten steps from my bed. But I got coffee and some crossword puzzle time in before the old bell rang to get out of the gate and make…
If you only knew me like I know me But that’s not true I am mother,daughter,woman,artist,worker,gypsy,friend The facet you see depends on where the light is brightest At that moment If I only knew me like I wish you to know me But what is true How can I be all of this and any…
I saved another wasp today. No, no, not the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant type. The flying, stinging type. “Why?” will be most people’s response, understandably. But, I feel that wasps get a bad rap. They live all around my house – on the ceiling of the mud room, on the door frame of my front door,…
It has been a long time since I put the words of my head onto a white space. Mostly I think because they have not been perky prose, or uplifting, pithy bootstrap thoughts. They haven’t even been particularly interesting – I mean, I’d get them out of my head and pick up a new narrative…
Up until two weeks ago, my answer to that question would have been a myriad of things. A new SUV. Really nice smokey perfume. A case of fabu Pinot Noir. An all-inclusive trip to Alaska or Scotland. And so forth. My, my, how one’s perspective can change in a jiffy! Top of the list now?…
Well, they don’t call me the wandering Jew for lack of a reason, but I’m putting down tentative roots once more. I bought a house. I’ll try not to burden my mind with calling it my ‘forever’ home, as I did once before when I found a little slice of heaven – making it like…
“They” say this is the time of the year to reflect on your yearly posts. Ach. Hit and/or miss. So many left in drafts because they were written late at night after work ended and there didn’t seem to be much ‘me’ in them; or maybe, too much of me in them. I look at…
(Oooh, a fragmented lost in draft post, just found, from earlier this year) Now that was a catchier title than “Getting to know my fellow air travelers”, was it not? Feet firmly back on the ground from vacation, I’ve been in hibernation from over-socialization. It isn’t that anyone was rude or intentionally draining either. I…
My goal is to make a post a day to wrap up 2016 and teeter into the unformed abyss of 2017 🙂 Carapasces of Dreams The dry wind chattered Winding through the carapaces of dreams Discarded in corners Shrugged off during a mental molt Raw skin couldn’t decide Whether to embrace the nakedness For…
Yes, I’ve been quiet. Nine months of adjusting to re-mothering, plus a job that requires long hours, not much time to do much of anything other than work I hope to drop a post in the next few weeks, time permitting. In the interim, if you haven’t yet, please click the link to the right in ‘Recent…
I need to see her face. She is pale and breathing fast. Darkness colors the hollows under her eyes; not purple, not brown, but some muddy, delicate mix of the two, not unlike some smudged color you would see touted in a new fall palette on sale at Ulta. On the forty minute drive north…
This morning while walking the dog accompanied by a chatty six-year old, he sited a lone yellow flower in the brush with an exclamation of joy. We walked over and examined it – a cheery yellow face with rings of of minute blood-red pinpricks radiating from the center. I promised to come back and capture…
So me and the little guy are going to do the HeartWalk this year. I’d appreciate it if you’d take a peek at the link and donate if you’re inclined. Small amounts are welcomed just as much as big ones 🙂 Donation Link I’ve never been good at this kind of thing, unless there…
For almost seven years of widowhood, I have lived in solitude, with the exception of a one year stint with a co-worker roommate. She opened her home to me for a pittance while I was struggling to get back on my feet upon returning to work and I will always be grateful. I am comfortable…
In my last post I explained the new direction that my life is taking, and the on-boarding of a little one. What has come to light is the beautiful outpouring of sisterly support for the situation. No, not my sisters, as I don’t have any. But the Aunts of my grandson, my other daughters. One…
What does that word really mean? The technical meaning is to slaughter an animal, or to offer a person or possession to the Almighty. Yet I have heard that word related to what I am about to embark upon; the taking on of a six-year-old boy to raise for a while, to help untangle a…
Wise words of the day: Image lifted from: http://girlyme.tumblr.com/post/92870248438/filson-wise-words via Pinterest. In case the deafening silence did not clue you in, the months leading up to surgery were quite a struggle for me, and I wrestled with depression, the reality of being alone and often invisible, the roles I fill in the family circle and a…
Fifteen minutes ago It was that day. The day I flew. The day I decided not to counteroffer on a house I really liked. The day I last heard “I love you so much.” The day I last shared a newspaper with anyone. I wonder when this day’s awareness will fade from my brain. When…
Politics. That’s a screamer for me. I’m happy you have an opinion – please, keep it to yourself. Just for the record I support neither party, registered Independent, and try to vote on issues when I vote. What’s in the political news lately? The damned Fast Track Trade agreement. I’m currently neither for nor against,…
Ah yes, I bet you thought the topic would be more romantic when I caught up on the blog, yes? Actually, I’ve been so mentally busy that the title choices were difficult to narrow down, but since I’m coming off of a serious (for me) illness, this was that one which stuck. I should back track…
So what, you may ask, can one DO when there is no internet to absorb, delight, educate, aggravate and titillate? If you are a geeky person like me, you read. Yes, those book things that we house in places called libraries and line up in bookstores filled with the intoxicating aroma of, well, probably glue,…
I have internet at home again…woohoo! That was painful, being without the ‘net in some ways. In others, it was refreshing and more stimulating than sitting in front of the computer reading. I’ll catch up during the week, or try to. Thanks to all who inquired about me. Since I was last riding off into…
“Plop.” The sound came soft and clear from somewhere in the fading dusk. I looked around for what it might be and there, unmoving in the dark, was the shape of a frog. As I approached for a better look it shook off the fall and hopped away. It made me smile. Back to reading.…
Alight
It has been a stretch of interesting days. I’m not certain how my life always seems to amble along like a comedy, but it does most of the time. It could be that I am just silly 🙂 I ran up against a wall this week that I’ve not encountered ever I don’t think, since…
Quote of the week: “…People should be able to walk into their back yards and say, ‘that’s a cicada, that’s a tree frog, and that’s a bird.’ Then, when they hear a bird scream, ‘get out of my territory, get out of my territory,’ I want them to recognize the cadence and remember that…
Just like going to the Doctor for a check up is not intimate when compared with the touch of one who knows you, neither is having professional movers wrangle your stuff from one place to another. But to have people who know me trail their fingers through my things is something quite different for me. It is…
Catchy and academic-sounding title eh? My brain works weirdly in sleep deprivation mode. I also love to make up words that have meaning probably only to me. Last night was a late night (morning) working as the next in line is out for medical assistance for his partner. That left me in charge of herding…
Reading novels makes me feel like I am stuck in a really bad one sometimes, one that I might produce on my first stab at such. Since I’m winnowing my books, my reward for working towards packing is reading books I’m getting rid of before spiraling into sleep, instead of my normal perusal of the…
I did it! I am now the owner of a rolling version of a tiny house. Well, me and the credit union 🙂 And yes, I drove it, adrenaline inducing event that was. I’m scheduled for a full driving course prior to taking actual delivery, after it goes through its bells and whistles review and…
Yes, it is gory. Gut-wrenching. Painful. Overwhelming. That’s why I am taking a break to write about it instead of doing it. Heh. We squirrel away for all kinds of maybes. Maybe they won’t make (insert item of choice) any more. We stock and store because we’ve a prepper mentality so maybe there will…
Did you know that online RV shopping is a LOT like online dating? No? I did it for you, so you don’t have to. In all seriousness, it is somewhat similar. Nice photos. Catchy list of amenities. Make appointment. Show up. Think you must be at wrong place as nothing looks like the photos. Then…
I feel like I’ve joined the ‘writer’s abstinence club’ of sorts lately. I think of great things to write, but I’m busily doing something else, and then I have tasks to tackle or familial bonds to reinforce with listening, advice, interventions or the like, and a dog to walk and a job, and well, then…
**************************** Did I feel a tug at the corner of the dream Which I must have ignored, glossed over Darted at through rose-colored glasses Via an edgewise glance And kept on dreaming, looking forward Did I hear ambivalence whisper, or Was it dissonance maybe? They can be so hard to differentiate, tease apart No matter…
I’ve been on sensory overload lately – not sure why. In this post are tidbits of thought, internal and external conversations, sights and smells, a photo or two and the requisite songs that have been running through my mind lately. Best read while drinking hot tea and listening to Jackie Greene’s “Travelin’ Song” Don’t have…
When you begin to consider carrying all that you need on your back for a few months, the contents of your home begin to loom in the mind as well. The idea of ‘comfort’, ‘luxury’ or ‘morale’ items becomes a topic of thought. We really don’t think about these things day to day, just like…
Yesterday was a rare treat, a double-header with two of my daughters and my four grandsons, plus helping the third daughter watch shop by text 🙂 It was also a two restaurant meal day for me, which is exceedingly unusual. In the midst of my ‘fake hiking & camping’ fun I had a birthday luncheon…
I remember the times when January 1st was a bleary-eyed sleeping in day. A day that didn’t require going to work, woohoo! Those days seem to be long behind me, although if I had television I might still be tempted to watch the ball drop in Times Square. This year my goal was to go to…
I can tell you first hand that widowhood sucks. Just like when you marry, you learn to blend, compromise and bend to fit into a pair and it is a little awkward – stops, starts, spills, so too, is widowhood. In a culture that practically elevates partnership to sainthood status, suddenly finding oneself pulling in…
…and other unusual things said to me lately. Scent has always played a huge role in my life. As such, I own probably an inordinate amount of scented things, personal and home. I picked up a new perfume on a trip. It is very green, woodsy with a mossy undertone at dry down. It reminds…
It has been a long and pensive non-public time for me, kicked into gear by the emotional trip to my property followed fast on the heels by Thanksgiving with family, and then as usual, ruminations on all kinds of things. While I’ve written some offline to keep the creative trickle alive, the rest of me…
Ensconced back in the micro-haus in balmy weather, last week feels like it passed in some kind of dream form. I’m pretty bone-weary in all honesty. It was a very emotional trip, in both good and bad ways, thanks to incredible friends. The roughshod road trip was to pick up venison on another person’s timeline.…
This experience, while considered by many to be slightly insane, is very educational for me. It is an opportunity to learn while learning is optional and not mandatory, or driven by necessity. I’ve known too many people relegated to a lifestyle they didn’t anticipate with no foreknowledge, myself included. The saving grace in my sleeping…
So I am on site in the midst of the great Polar Vortex caper (hmmm, didn’t I mention flailing in the vortex a few posts ago…prescient of me eh?) I like to camp. A lot. So in order to give the new widow some personal space I brought my camping gear since there is acreage…
I have made this run up 75 North so many times I should be able to do it in my sleep, but this is the first time in ten years I finally did it without taking a printed map. I’m directionally challenged in many ways and so I often don’t trust myself. But in the…
Going to a salon is not really about vanity so much. It is about going some place where someone takes care of you. I was reminded of this yesterday, as someone brought me coffee, I read magazines I normally do not see and enjoy human touch while having my hair washed. I don’t go any…
The Daily Post popped into my Inbox tonight, for minimalist photos. This one immediately sprung to mind.
Stark. Past prime. Depth. Beauty.
In bloom, the Zinnia is cheerful, multi-layered, attention grabbing. But even here, there is a shadow of its former life.
Beauty surrounds us, but usually we need to be walking in a garden to know it.~Rumi
Shabbat shalom.
~SE
