I’m not a whiner. I hate it. Listening to it especially. But lately I’ve experienced my own inner whine. It’s annoying, rather like that lone mosquito that somehow gets into the room and circles your head like a buzzard lookin’ for a roadside snack…drives you nuts! I usually suck it up when I’m feeling whiny. Give myself a good talkin’ to on the inside. It sounds about like this:
Whiny-self: This (insert issue here) SUCKS!
Bootstrap-self: Shhhh. There are lots of positive things going on, suck it up and move on girl.
Whiny-self: But, but..I’m (insert adjective here: frustrated, broke, angry, etc.)
Bootstrap-self: So whatchya gonna DO about it, besides whine?
And that’s usually followed by a big sigh and some kind of action. I have a noisy and very active mind, with some kind of internal conversation occurring most of my waking hours. I use positive thinking, reality checks and the like all of the time to keep things moving forward. But there are simply times that I think you have to vent. Getit off your chest. Express it, and then move on. Otherwise it builds up inside and just hangs around there waiting to manifest in the health of your body or your mind, or maybe both.
I have been really wrestling with what type of set up I should pursue for my full-time living rig. The reality is that right now, I’m not a trailer-towing kind of gal. I don’t want to add to the learning curve of nomadic living the additional lessons of towing in wind, sway bars, trailer brakes and whatnot. Right now, that’s simply too much for me to change at one time. Part of my new attitude is accepting that hey, maybe I can only do so much at a time, and choosing my battles conserves mental and physical energy. Because I’ve been up in the air about what combo of vehicles, trailers or bikes to buy, I’ve done the big ‘nothing’. Paralysis by analysis. So today I am going out to find the actual worth of my SUV and begin to make actual decisions.
The hammering of the stress of my job has really made me hit the ads regarding workamping. Can I do it sooner? Am I fooling myself that changing my living arrangements and job structure will simply trade one set of stressors for another? The reality is that I’d like to go hang out with someone who is doing it, and see for myself what it really is like. I know that hosting in a national forest will be vastly different than hosting or working in an RV park setting. And I realize there are jerky asinine people that also camp, they are not just confined to the big business world or on the road next to me swearing, cutting into traffic and flipping people off. I have mused over the snakes, coons, spiders and frogs, along with ticks and skeeters, that will be some of the natural inhabitants of the new way of life. I’ve thought about the thoughtlessness of people when they are staying in a place not theirs, and the types that will care how they leave a place and the types that will not, and will use the outdoors as their personal cesspool just as they would their own places. The big picture is that there is no nirvana that I can drive towards that will solve every problem. Yes, I might can recharge under the stars between jobs with just the wind and the creation as my companions, but everywhere I go there will be people of all types and attitudes. The only constant I have control over is how I react and interact with them, and how much of their negativity I keep with me or let go and ignore. So yeah, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” is back on the table as the reality check.
Thanks for dropping by and reading. If you’re interested in the former life I wrote about, you can check it out here: https://sunflowersolacefarm.wordpress.com/>