Trust.

It is a small word, trust.  Unobtrusive, rather plain.   But it is so important, so vital, to all relationships, be they family, friend or partner.

Due to some childhood traumas, by all intents and purposes I should be distrustful.  Instead, I trust with wild abandon.  I give everyone the option to prove me wrong.  However, when wronged, that hurt burns down to my soul and it is difficult, no, near impossible to return to the previous position.  The now-distrusted most likely will never know it.  But they will nevermore be close to me in the way that they previously were.   Everything will be filtered through the ‘preservation’ filter.

To give someone else trust, belief in the fact that they indeed are who they represent themselves to be and that their words are honest, is the greatest gift one can both give and receive.  Children trust with no reservation.  They take your words as factual.  They have no historical backdrop upon which to measure.  Adults on the other hand have life experience.  Usually there are some hurts in there as well.  It is a fine line to maneuver, the previous hurt minefields versus openly trusting.  I’ve learned that you simply cannot hang on someone new, something that another has done.   And it is the backdrop on why I trust easily.   I do not wish to be treated as someone before me that might have failed.  Nor do I wish to saddle a new  person with that baggage  from my past either.

But starting new relationships, as I am doing, brings up all of that old junk from the past, like a finely set dredge line.  The ‘what-ifs’ are huge.  I’m sure it rings true for the other person as well.   I only hope that our maturity and life wisdom can overrule any self-preservation instincts that go running amok.

And, to close this post with beauty,  here is the first rosebud on my new Pinata rosebush, holding dew.  I cannot wait for the ten buds to blossom, and to steal their scent into my little home!

Live well.  Give completely.  Think positively.

~SE

The first Rosebud in over twenty years!

The first Rosebud in over twenty years!

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