Did you notice there are two ways to read the title of this post? The difference is simply space.
“She has, you know, quite a way with words.”
I looked into his eyes and thought, “Away with words.”
Words. With them you can paint a picture, engage in a debate, enrage someone, cut to the bone, bring to tears, ignite passion, begin a smile, dry tears, drown someone. Few tools are capable of such a wide variety of uses. Few things are tossed about so casually, so thoughtlessly. Few things are clung to so desperately, grasped so deeply. There is such power within words.
I’ve been privy to discussions of words lately that show just how often it is our frame of reference that provides the meaning when we hear or read words. And so it is with words that we hold dear as well as those that repulse us. Language is simply amazing when you really look closely at it; when you delve into its depths. Words written by one whom you hold dear, what a pleasure to read and re-read them, to draw close when you are apart. I treasure things written for and to me. Words are the way into my mind, and into my heart. I still have small scraps of paper and sticky notes and the like from when my children were young and couldn’t spell correctly. They are time capsules of love. And it is no wonder that words of affirmation are my secondary love language in importance. I find quotes intriguing and inspiring as well, easily able to set my imagination and drive on fire. I must confess, I am simply enamored with words. I am a logophile.
Touch is my primary love language, but it has been a very long time since I engaged in a relationship of touch. Yes, I touch my family, and sometimes my friends. Nothing with intimacy though, for some time. Will I forget how to express my affection, my love, my appreciation, with my touch? When the opportunity comes again to do so, will I be like a starving person before a long-dreamed of meal? Will I gorge myself, or will I ease gently back into it? Will I be able to slow myself so that I don’t overdo it? Those of you with someone to touch on a regular basis probably never even have such thoughts cross your mind. To be touched by someone who loves you is a great privilege, and one that we often take for granted until deprived of that sensory experience. I think often of just holding someone’s hand, allowing my fingers to trail up the inner arm, to feel the pulse of another under my fingers. Or the simple solidarity that holding hands brings to mind, the belonging that it implies. And yet, I am jumpy now when someone touches me. It has become awkward to experience. I was at a birthday get-together last weekend at a friend’s home. Most of the people there have known each other for many years, and they all hug and air kiss – male, female, it didn’t matter. I was caught up into the whole greet-hug-air kiss thing as each new group of people arrived. That is when I discovered that it is now awkward for me. Perhaps this is what an alcoholic feels when faced with alcohol. I miss touch, but there are an awful lot of rules around it; propriety, social convention, comfort levels. Often I think if someone I cared for began to touch me, I might be like a stray puppy and just follow them everywhere, hoping for that next pet. So I’ve been considering including massage into my life on a quasi-regular basis, until I once again enter into a relationship. In doing so, maybe the flood gates will not open so forcefully when the opportunity to touch is once again right in front of me.
This is what my mind does at the end of the day, when all is quiet and there is nothing pressing to attend to. My emotions are running high right now due to some personal issues. It was either write, or drive myself batty with circular thinking. This is the result.
Now, for some quotes to send you off gently and thoughtfully.
On taking risks – something quite on my mind today (yes, I gambled, yet again)
“The question, love, is whether you want me enough to take the risk.”
`- Lisa Kleypas, Mine Till Midnight
On becoming more
And of course, on love
“True love is taking the risk that it won’t be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, ‘I’m not afraid to believe in you.’”
-Cara Lockwood I Do (But I Don’t)
I truly hope that you find something here that speaks to you, either within my words or within those words of those more famous. Whatever you find, integrate it into your being, and in doing so, become more you.
Touch someone you love. Find someone who chooses to love you. Become the best you that you can be.