I don’t really need fussing over when I’m sick. In fact, I prefer to be left alone for the most part. But it would be nice to have a flower, or some soup made, or something. I worked all week even though I was sick. At least in my job, I can work from home when it is needed. My co-workers IM’d thanks for me keeping the illness that I caught AT the office, here at home 🙂 On the up side, I saved an entire tank of gas, and didn’t grocery shop all week. I think I left the house once all week. My attendance on conference calls was kind of like me channeling Lauren Bacall on a rough morning after.
But today I felt much better. I got a lot of work done to make up for earlier in the week when I was rather fuzzy-headed. As I felt better, my brain turned to some of the challenges of this new property and how to tackle them. I’ve asked for input from the homesteading single community about how to tackle the water problem at the property. I really prefer to spend some time there getting to know the feel of the place, before I drill a well, site the living quarters and choose where the garden will be. I want time to become familiar with things, places, the positives and the minuses. So right now I’m leaning to a modified version of the plan (that will probably change a hundred times yet again – woman’s prerogative and all that you know.) But I’m thinking of perhaps a used RV/Camper set up, with storage water tanks to provide water until the well is drilled. That would allow me to spend vacation time there, and also perhaps ‘buy’ some work time up there too, before making the final move and all. As usual, just thinking through things.
My debt pay off will actually be shorter, as I had some numbers wrong in the initial balances, so, woohoo! Not that much really, perhaps a month or two of difference, but, every day brings me closer to where I want to be. That makes me smile.
This week I watched an old interview of Lauren Bacall from 1994 on YouTube – and her words struck me in the early part of her interview. She is a beautiful, strong and talented woman- and twenty years ago she voiced these words: “I find so many men are so immature, I mean, so preoccupied with their manliness, that they can’t have a relationship; they can’t sustain one. They need constant reassurance, they need younger women to tell them how wonderful they are; that they are not sure enough of themselves, and what they are and who they are. Nobody I know asks any more of a man except that he knows what he is about. He has confidence in the work that he does, and in himself. Now total confidence is impossible, I know that, but …for a man to have an equal relationship with a woman, it’s just damn hard to find, it’s just almost nonexistent. It’s sad, to me.” As a wife and mother, Bacall often subsumed her career to those roles. She accepted trade offs, as all relationships require them. But the majority of her life after Bogart’s passing, and her marriage to Robards ended, she has spent alone. She talks about the joys of being alone, and what she misses about a relationship. I didn’t know that there was someone out there who had the feelings, thoughts, on relationships and companionship, so similar to my own. The last man that I cared for knew these things about himself, and I commented on that to him – complimented him on it. It borders on disdain and contempt for others though – a lack of balance in that confidence. But the lack of empathy and kindness, oh my. Perhaps it is best that he broke up with me, if one could call it that. But it brings me to another thought – how does one get to know someone in all of their personality composition before you make a choice to partner with them? Some of us are pretty much what-you-see-is-what-you-get. Others, not so much. If I do ever partner again, I want to make it last for the rest of my life. Perhaps I should buy a second dog and say just to heck with it 🙂
The funniest quote on being single that I have seen lately…
“Why is it that people treat being SINGLE like it’s the plague? I’m sorry, but it’s not leprosy people! Where in the Old Testament does it say “Boils, locusts, hail and being single?”
~ Joy Maniscalco
It made me really laugh 🙂
That’s it for today. I’m off for a hot cup of tea with lemon and honey and mayyyybe a bit of whiskey, some good mindless TV from Netflix and an early night to bed. Gotta kick this sickness bug before Sunday night, when I pull Grandma duty so that my youngest can go have a grandson.
Be well. Be tender. Be kind – first to yourself, and then others.