Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
~ Hans Christian Anderson
Things on my writing mind…
1. Good gawd, could anyone come up with more things that women are ‘supposed’ to be? Badass. Baker. Power Executive. Mom. Construction supervisor. Submissive wife. Activist. Feminist. I get tired reading about what we should/could be. It is akin to being told when one is young “You can be anything that you want.” Um. No I can’t. There are prerequisites and requisites that no one speaks of. How about we be the best version of us that we can, and leave all of the nifty titles aside, yes? It doesn’t matter what you choose, someone will be judging you for it. So judge me for me dammit, and not my title, ‘k?
2. Why is there no word for loner female that wishes to live in the woods? Someone said recently that hermit is gender neutral. How many of you think of a female when you hear ‘hermit’? Thought so.
3. I’ve recently realized that being an aspiring writer is very similar to all of the rock star wannabes out there, except we don’t have groupies (or if we do, they don’t throw underwear at us and write long, rambling notes on what they’d do if they got to be with us for fifteen minutes).
4. Writers write because we really have no choice. It is what we do; possibly it is who we actually are -wordsmiths. Now whether we get paid for that or not is an entirely different animal. If we aren’t getting paid, do we stop? No, we only stop (sometimes) if we’re not being read.
5. I’ve decided, I think, on my shed-to-home conversion model. I’m female, I’m allowed to change my mind. If you can handle the vertigo-inducing videography, you’re welcome to take a peek here:
I found out that there is a dealer close to the land I hope to be able to settle on. I’ll have to do the finish work, except for the electrical, but I think I’m up for it. Did you notice it has a PORCH? I have a porch thing, I admit it. A place to sit while it rains or snows and contemplate life. Hey, it’s bigger than where I live now by more than 150 square feet! It is practically a mansion. Plus, I can have a bedroom above the living area, and a desk in front of a window to write. I’ve mentioned this before in older posts. I have a window now where I write, but, it looks out on an alley, and I have to keep curtains covering it due to passers-by. Where I hope to live, I’ll not need that. I’ll be able to look out on trees, native grasses and a coyote or two 🙂 That makes me extremely happy.
6. Hello Emo Me (and who the hell ARE you?)
Have you ever finished a movie, a GOOD movie, with a positive ending…and felt like crying? And not for the happiness of the characters in the movie. What the heck is that about? I’m pretty much emotional goo lately, and I am trying to figure out why.
Let’s see, to kick it off, a few weekends ago I accessed the hard drive finally (four years that took) that holds the last ten years of my life with my late husband, combined with the upcoming death anniversary. Not only personal things between he and I, including my post-death journaling (yes, I write about Everything), but also drafts of reluctant teen girls’ homework; photos of first days of school for irritated middle and high schoolers; E-mails spanning more than a decade; notes; the beginning of the first book I attempted to write, and scads of music. It is rather like falling down the rabbit hole, and I sometimes get lost in there. I think the fancy .50 cent word is ‘reverie’ for the good stuff, and ‘flashbacks’ for the not-so-good.
Add to that my intense workload at le job, my recent commitment to my creative work, the death of a family friend, some familial disappointment and….so on. I’m leaning towards the term ’emotionally overwrought’. It has a bit of flair I think, that term. I don’t believe I’m near histrionics (although, is blogging histrionics??), but…the rope is a little tight these days. It makes me pine for a relationship that on a rational, pragmatic day, I’m not really sure that I am quite yet ready for. I think it is the memory of being hugged, having someone to comfort me at the end of a hard day, or simply to laugh with over something silly, being re-ignited by all of the data history. Also, when one decides to write, it requires opening all of the emotional flood gates to do so, those coming in and going out; at least, if you want the words on the page to have life and heft, instead of limping along flaccidly like…well, you get the picture.
By the way, as an aside, I highly recommend for writers especially, giving a look-see to “The Magic of Belle Isle” if you haven’t already. Also, for a laugh, love born from friendship and just general feel-good stuff “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.” I’m highly annoyed that neither NetFlix or AmPrime have it for streaming. You might notice I’m errr, a bit late to the party on these movies. The cost of movies in a theater drives me nuts! I had to wait in line for it from the library.
7. My playlist last night as I perused blogs (only links, otherwise this would be a toughie on slower connections)
The Family Band – Moonbeams (I adore this song for some reason, maybe because it matches my own vocal range)
Yes, I know it makes no sense. It is eclectic. Deal with it 🙂
Consider this post a potpourri of my never-silent mind. Have a beautiful, perfect day of the kind exactly that you are wishing for. I’ll be thinking about you!
~SE (on the road to the ‘rents today)