Is there life offline?

So what, you may ask, can one DO when there is no internet to absorb, delight, educate, aggravate and titillate? If you are a geeky person like me, you read. Yes, those book things that we house in places called libraries and line up in bookstores filled with the intoxicating aroma of, well, probably glue, formaldehyde and some other chemical constituents I’m ignorant of, but that draws me in every single time.  As an aside, do you think that Kindle, Nook and such will ever create downloadable books that actually smell like a book? Since I have internet at work, but they frown on me actually not working when I am there, I would surreptitiously take my Kindle to work and download books as the Kindle sat placidly in my briefcase slurping up the guest data connection.  I also read real, concrete, books in hand.  You are all fascinated at this moment, I know (not), lol!

I also went to parties with real people, experienced my first game of ‘Cornhole’ (really, can we not call it Bean Bag Toss??), played with grandchildren, rode my bike, toted the camera around, visited with my parents and tended to the routine chores of RV living, which were once in a while not so routine.

For instance, someone for some reason (sick humor?), decided to swap their defective sewer pipe with my brand new one. Being still a novice at this whole dealio, I just thought it was my own ineptitude that was making what previously was a fairly straightforward process suddenly quite frustrating. Maybe I had some mysterious muscle wasting disease that strikes me only when working with sewer pipe?  So despite the fittings not quite lining up and locking as they had in all of my other dump chores, I soldiered on. Please let me give you a dose of caution: DON’T DO IT!!!  Dump chores are not really a pleasant thing anyway, but when you wrestle with them in 90 plus degree heat AND your fittings don’t, well, fit, the results are just enough to make you cry.  Which is exactly what I did; sit down on the ground and cry when done. You see, if your fittings don’t actually fit, the pipes don’t actually contain the effluent.  Uncontained effluent travels effortlessly through air via gravity and has an attraction to human bodies.  Makes sense I guess, rather like returning home. When you are a sweaty, hot mess to begin with, holding the two ends of sewer pipe that previously were one and are now two, you can’t like, move, without making a mess.  And you have to move to get to the drain valve to stop the discharge. Except, when you move, something has to give. That something is your pride and possibly your lunch. Juggling large plastic slinkies full of waste is probably not ever going to be featured in any Cirque du Soleil vignette.  Well, maybe the lunatic version for people who like ‘boy humor’.  But juggle I did, with kind of crab-like movements towards the water bin of the RV, all while spilling and sliding and generally performing some form of disgusting Sewer Pipe Salsa dance, until I could shut off the valve. I think I took three showers that day, which then filled the grey water tank faster than it should have and caused my shower to back up. Crying in the shower is far less embarrassing and you don’t have to wipe your face (which you can’t do elegantly outside holding two sewer pipes, by the way). So while I did not experience Mount Effluvius akin to the scenes in the movie “RV”, I have now been baptized into the Black Tank Brotherhood of ‘shit happens’.  And to the person who thought to do this to me…I am glad I am me and not you.

What I missed most from being offline was music streaming and blog reading.  To all of those whose blogs I have neglected, please forgive me.  And now that I have interwebs again, I find myself without any extra time really.  Because you see, I’ve met someone.This has been going on for a while and is developing nicely. And that’s all I’ll say about that, for now (smile).

I will say that I actually turned on the TV one night and watched part of a movie before falling asleep. I’ve not put up the antenna, so the channel pickins were pretty slim. I settled on an old black and white movie, “How Green Was My Valley”.  I just couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to find out how the brothers did going off to make their way, leaving the littlest one behind to work in the mines. I’ll find it online somewhere I suppose and see if the ending is happy or not.

Some views from the past few weeks.

And today requires some off and running again, so until next time….

Beware of sneaky sewer scoundrels!

~SE (in silly mode)

PS. If you get 100K for one of my photos, call me *

  9 comments for “Is there life offline?

  1. May 31, 2015 at 11:27 AM

    Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE and commented:

    In case you haven’t smirked today…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. May 31, 2015 at 11:27 AM

    “Valley” is one of my favorite films–a rite de passage study, probably one of Ford’s best. Now that you have been ‘baptized’ the rest will seem easy and if it happens again you will grin and bear it, much like a rite of passage in real life. >KB

    Liked by 2 people

    • May 31, 2015 at 11:43 AM

      LOL, I might be ‘grim’ and bear it, although I am able to laugh about it now. At the time, not so much 🙂

      Because I grew up without access to much television, I’ve missed a lot of the ‘great’ old movies (and most of the new ones too!). I look forward to watching it from beginning to end. It is all that book reading that now gets in the way of movie-watching, oh, and the j-o-b thing 😉 Good to see you kickin’ KB!


  3. May 31, 2015 at 6:19 PM

    Oh dear. We have definitely done the “Sewer Salsa”. Shame on whoever swapped your pipes!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. May 31, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    My dear friend S
    I love traveling with you. Not on a journey to the shit house! I won’t miss the Salsa dancing, poop and all. Were are you at that it’s already 90 degrees? You must be in the West. You’ve been quite busy, all but the pipe issue. I would have a disaster in four hours without the internet. If doesn’t help I’m tied to the house foundation. Going on two appointments wore me out. I wasn’t in shape to start, put several years of sickness on top, I would have to sleep 24 hours to survive. In my quest to “Losing is not an option” I look at places to travel, moving to the country without being the country and high on my list is having houses. It’s so strange to look back to the time was learning the internet and it’s cubby holes to where I am at now.
    So glad you’re back and crap removed you can go in public. That sounds horrible, I would lose my lunch.
    Thank you for the post it was very entertain. I am anxious to here of the guy story. You must be on a cloud.
    Miss you

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 1, 2015 at 2:27 PM

      Hope you’re feeling better today M!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 1, 2015 at 4:15 PM

        I have a regular conversation with myself and talk to God more often. I will come out a better person. I will learn patience for sure.
        Take care, I ready for our next adventure!

        Liked by 1 person

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