Prismatic

If you only knew me like I know me
But that’s not true
I am mother,daughter,woman,artist,worker,gypsy,friend
The facet you see depends on where the light is brightest
At that moment

If I only knew me like I wish you to know me
But what is true
How can I be all of this and any of this in fact
When the facet seen depends on where the light is brightest
At that moment

If only I could be me like I feel me
All of this is true
I am all that I am and nothing that you think
You turn the facet that fascinates you to where the light is brightest
At that moment

Without light there is no prism to see in me
Like a rainbow, minute droplets refract the light
I am droplets and cannot be held
I will appear where the light is brightest
At that moment

Then gone.

I haven’t written any poetry in a very long time. This came to me in the middle of the night, after falling asleep to thoughts about about those around me, their ideas of who I should be to meet their expectations and rummaging around in my brain for far too long, touching on conversations remembered, words read, disappointments felt, joys held briefly.  All of us are perceived by others through their particular lens and it is usually a lens not in our own imagery arsenal. For example, if four people think about the word “mother”, four totally different manifestations will appear in their heads (even if they are siblings, they will all perceive their mother differently).  All of us balance all that we are into one being, like a deck of cards, pulling out the ace or the jack or the queen whenever that particular persona is needed.  Should we need to uphold more than one persona in the same time and space, it is rarely going to be a winning pair, much less the consistent and constant order of light as reflected in a prism. You never just see, for instance, the pink strata of a rainbow without all of the other colors. Yet all of that beauty is ever present unseen; it simply lacks the proper set of environmental conditions to shine it all of its totality. 

In summary, I guess we are most like the dance mat in those games, where you put your feet on the colors that light up in order to learn the steps.  We’re all just learning to dance through life, and hopefully to shine in all of our fullness from time to time when the particular circumstances are ripe.

So today, dance the steps of your life, and remember, your full range of colors always lives inside of you and happiness does not wait.

 

~SE