Last night I did something I rarely ever do – I stayed up past 8pm. Why? The Geminids. It wasn’t a work night, and here I am in Big Sky country. So I bundled up and went outside to stare at the sky after serious caffeine loading.
I have a lot of people in my life right now, which is rare for me. I’ve been pretty much a recluse for several years. But I made a choice to change that and here I am. Fear something? Immerse yourself in it. At least, that’s how I have done things (Okay, maybe not applicable to spiders, roaches or snakes)
As I stood under the expansive sky and watched meteorites streak, I began naming people and making a wish for them. Do I believe in that? Not really. But each falling star gave me a moment to think on someone else, to ignore self and focus on others. I thought of long-time friends and those recently met. I thought of people who have been kind to me. I thought of people I really don’t know well, but are in my sphere currently.
As I stood there, neck craning every which way, I heard night birds of the desert that I was unaware of. Coyotes howled in the distance.I watched clouds expand and turn to ribbons to decorate the sky. I thought of how small we are and how great the lack of knowledge we have is. I thought of how full and content my heart was at that moment, and gave thanks.
I don’t know the answer to why life can be so hard for some, and appear so easy for others. Maybe because we don’t really know them? Appearances can be very deceiving. But from the outside, that is how it looks sometimes.
What I thought and spoke about those on my mind last night – those bearing burdens immense; those suffering from illness; those struggling with anxiety, bitterness and fear; those with financial problems; those simply wiped out and overwhelmed from being responsible – will have no impact on them. But it had great impact on me as more than an hour went by and I was still naming people to falling stars. My life is rich. I have so much to appreciate.
Yes, at times it is overwhelming, the amount of ‘me’ that is being given. I get tired. I need to withdraw and recharge. But as a friend recently said, “Better to have too many people to talk to than no one”.
So I suggest to you, sometime name all of those in your life to yourself, and think on them for a moment. Look outward. Change your perspective and see how much falls away from you.
Lest you think I’m above self absorption, just ask anyone very close to me. I can be totally annoying with it. Thankfully, those closest to me also care enough to tell me when I’m being a self-absorbed ass. That is what true friends do, you know. This was an activity to improve my own behavior, to do and be better.
The next time pieces of space debris come our way, try it. You might be surprised at how much better you feel.
Be content. Be kind. Be forgiving, foremost of your own failures. And finally, never overestimate your own importance. It’s a painful place to fall from.
Star gazing in the desert…